H U N G E R

There is a hunger, deep inside,
Rooted in the conviction that what we have is insufficient,
It grows, fed by fake ideas of what could be,
Climbing across our minds, creeping into our thoughts
To take possession of our goals
Of our dreams
Of our life

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Why are we so insecure?

In the last months, I’ve been putting a lot of thoughts into the question of how the concept of our self-confidence and insecurity works.
From a logical standpoint, it’s always been interesting to me how we manage to detach our identities from our bodies in order to be able to hate them, to use our insecurities as motivation to shape them. How do we form an identity in our modern society? How can we overcome this endless spiral of self-hatred, blaming and body shaming? Continue reading

Life is a race – don’t join it

We are all running. Running towards a better future, towards a successful future. Running towards our goals, resolutions, dreams and expectations. Running towards a life that will be as perfect as we deserve it to be. Running towards happiness.

And we are running away. Running away from death. Running away from never having mattered. Running away from not having left any sign of our existence in this world. Running away from our failures and shortcomings. Running away from our imperfections. Continue reading

Carrots are made to be eaten

 

“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”

– Albus Dumbledore

When I was a child reading Harry Potter, I never understood this quote. I somehow knew that it was going to be an important one, but I could never make sense of why any person in their right mind would ever “turn off the light”. It took some growing up for me to finally start to turn it off myself. And then a whole lot more growing up to come to the same conclusion as I did when I first read this, that turning off this light is not the smartest thing to do. So why do we still keep doing it?
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Pictures

Our life consists of pictures. Little moments when time seems to hesitate just long enough for us to capture them. Adding them all together, we end up with a movie we can neither rewind nor skip ahead. Everything is constantly changing, the people that step into the picture, the motives and the backgrounds.
In the course of this movie, there is one picture we as cameramen will never fully be able to see. It’s going to be one of the most important pictures in the whole movie, yet we will never be able to take a glimpse at it: A portrait of the protagonist if you will, our self-perception. Continue reading

Defeating Fear

“Do not slay your demons, dissect them and find out what they have been feeding on.”

– A Man Frozen in Time

I would like to try applying a medical concept on the topic of fears. In medicine, you always start out with a search for symptoms, which lead you directly to a disease that causes them. Since we know a lot about many diseases, we know what causes them and which treatment to apply. So what if we regarded ego based fears as a symptom of a bigger problem?

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IMPERFECT

“Perfection is man’s ultimate illusion. It simply doesn’t exist in the universe…. If you are a perfectionist, you are guaranteed to be a loser in whatever you do.”

― David D. Burn

Why do we dress up?

Why do we look in mirrors?

Why do we think about what we see there?

Why did I edit the previous questions several times befor posting?

Maybe because I want you to like them! And for some reason, I believe you will like what is especially good, or in other words especially close to what I percieve as ideal, as perfect.

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Fighting Fear

 

“Maybe the thing you’re most scared of is exactly what you should do.”

– unknown

Let’s take a closer look at how instead of suffering from our fears, we can actually use them to get rid of them.

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The Pursuit Of Happiness And Why It Is Nonsense

When I was 6 years old, I suddenly found myself sitting in a strange room listening to a strange person talking about strange topics. I didn’t really get what was going on, a few weeks ago I was eating sand and catching spiders and now I was what they called a “student”. I didn’t really understand what it means to be a student but apparently it seemed to be something nice, all the other kids and parents and aunts were super excited about it. So little me decided to be excited about it as well. Actually, I was proud, I was one of those guys who made it out of kindergarten. The future was in my hands. Continue reading

What if our future didn’t exist?

 

“The future is a concept—it doesn’t exist.
There is no such thing as tomorrow. There never will be because time is always now. That’s one of the things we discover when we stop talking to ourselves and stop thinking. We find there is only present, only an eternal now.”

– Alan W. Watts

I just stumbled across this interesting Idea. What if the future we always talk about as if it was real is just a concept, an idea based on our ability to predict the repetition of patterns? Thinking about it, it’s just an idea that might as well be wrong, no matter how precise our planning is. Have you ever had a plan that turned out completely as you wanted it to? Continue reading

Understanding Fear

As I described in my previous post, one day I realized that we are using fear as our motivation when we are procrastinating. But this thought lead me to searching for even more general aspects of it. To illustrate what I found out, I will divide the topic fear into 3 parts: I will differentiate what fear actually is, elaborate a more traditional approach on overcoming it and finally show you an idea I had on how to treat fears by identifying their source and resolving them that way. Continue reading

culpa {f}

Go to sleep!

Embrace the darkness.
Accept that you are going to have to spend some time in silence with your thoughts.

She is going to be there.
Waiting for you, like a disease that has grown to become a part of you.
Like a light, guiding your way through the darkness, burning you. Continue reading

“I wrote some raps that make sure that my lifeline

Reeking the scent of a reaper, ensuring that my allegiance

With the other side may come soon, and if I’m doomed

May the womb help my mother be blessed for many moons

I suffer a lot, and every day the glass mirror

Get tougher to watch; I tie my stomach in knots

And I’m not sure why I’m infatuated with death

My imagination is surely an aggravation of threats

That can come about, ’cause the tongue is mighty powerful

And I can name a list of your favorites that probably vouch

Maybe ’cause I’m a dreamer and sleep is the cousin of death

Really stuck in the schema of wondering when I’mma rest”

– Kendrick Lamar