Why are we so insecure?

In the last months, I’ve been putting a lot of thoughts into the question of how the concept of our self-confidence and insecurity works.
From a logical standpoint, it’s always been interesting to me how we manage to detach our identities from our bodies in order to be able to hate them, to use our insecurities as motivation to shape them. How do we form an identity in our modern society? How can we overcome this endless spiral of self-hatred, blaming and body shaming? Continue reading

culpa {f}

Go to sleep!

Embrace the darkness.
Accept that you are going to have to spend some time in silence with your thoughts.

She is going to be there.
Waiting for you, like a disease that has grown to become a part of you.
Like a light, guiding your way through the darkness, burning you. Continue reading

Life is a race – don’t join it

We are all running. Running towards a better future, towards a successful future. Running towards our goals, resolutions, dreams and expectations. Running towards a life that will be as perfect as we deserve it to be. Running towards happiness.

And we are running away. Running away from death. Running away from never having mattered. Running away from not having left any sign of our existence in this world. Running away from our failures and shortcomings. Running away from our imperfections. Continue reading

Carrots are made to be eaten

 

“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”

– Albus Dumbledore

When I was a child reading Harry Potter, I never understood this quote. I somehow knew that it was going to be an important one, but I could never make sense of why any person in their right mind would ever “turn off the light”. It took some growing up for me to finally start to turn it off myself. And then a whole lot more growing up to come to the same conclusion as I did when I first read this, that turning off this light is not the smartest thing to do. So why do we still keep doing it?
Continue reading

“I wrote some raps that make sure that my lifeline

Reeking the scent of a reaper, ensuring that my allegiance

With the other side may come soon, and if I’m doomed

May the womb help my mother be blessed for many moons

I suffer a lot, and every day the glass mirror

Get tougher to watch; I tie my stomach in knots

And I’m not sure why I’m infatuated with death

My imagination is surely an aggravation of threats

That can come about, ’cause the tongue is mighty powerful

And I can name a list of your favorites that probably vouch

Maybe ’cause I’m a dreamer and sleep is the cousin of death

Really stuck in the schema of wondering when I’mma rest”

– Kendrick Lamar

Pictures

Our life consists of pictures. Little moments when time seems to hesitate just long enough for us to capture them. Adding them all together, we end up with a movie we can neither rewind nor skip ahead. Everything is constantly changing, the people that step into the picture, the motives and the backgrounds.
In the course of this movie, there is one picture we as cameramen will never fully be able to see. It’s going to be one of the most important pictures in the whole movie, yet we will never be able to take a glimpse at it: A portrait of the protagonist if you will, our self-perception. Continue reading